1. What is Dominic Cummings’ favourite Christmas song? Driving Home for Christmas
2. Did you hear that production was down at Santa's workshop? Many of his workers have had to Elf isolate
3. Why did Mary and Joseph travel to Bethlehem by donkey ? All Virgin flights were cancelled
4. Why are Santa's reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve? They have herd immunity
5. Why did the pirates have to go into lockdown? Because the "Arrrr!" rate had risen
6. Why is it best to think of 2020 as like a panto? Because eventually, it's behind you. (Oh yes it is, oh no it isn't)
7. Why couldn't Mary and Joseph join their work conference call? Because there was no Zoom at the inn
8. Why can't Boris Johnson make his Christmas cake until the last minute? He doesn't know how many tiers it should have
9. What do the Trumps do for Christmas dinner? They put on a super spread
10. Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time? Home Alone
11. How do you play Dominic Cummings Monopoly? Ignore the rules, move anywhere on the board you like, and never Go To Jail
12. Why won't Santa lose any presents this year? He's downloaded Sack and Trace
13. How is the pandemic like my stomach after Christmas? It'll take ages to flatten the curve
14. How is Prince Andrew coping with the stresses of Christmas this year? Fine. No sweat
15. Why wasn't Rudolph allowed to take part in vaccine trials? Because they only wanted guinea pigs
16. Which government scheme supports Christmas dinner? Eat Sprout To Help Out
17. How can you get out of talking to your boss at this year's staff Christmas party? Put him on mute 18. How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he's visited? He keeps a logbook
19. Who dresses in red and gives to the children this Christmas? Marcus Rashford
20. Why did Mary and Joseph have to travel to Bethlehem? Because they couldn't book a home delivery
(These jokes were compiled by TV Channel Gold)
