1. Actors You Haven’t Seen in at Least a Decade. Not all the actors and actresses are has-beens or d-list, but it’s been awhile since we’ve seen these faces. At least they’re gorgeous! It’s easier to watch bad acting when you have some eye candy … right?
2. A Cheesy Romantic Plot. Of course the guy gets the girl every single time, but not until the ex-comes back and tries to foil the new romance. But it’s so much fun to watch! Even if the acting isn’t particularly good, or their chemistry is reminiscent of a cold fish, we still need to see the kiss of perfect strangers who fall in love in just 48 hours.
3. Snowfall and a Christmas Tree Farm – not slush or icey snow but always perfect white flaky snow in Hallmark Christmas movies. Of course on Christmas day there’s a beautiful white coating on all of the trees. Speaking of trees, everyone grows up on a Christmas tree farm in Hallmark-land.
4. Perfect Hair and Makeup. While it’s snowing outside, the characters hair and makeup are always flawless. Perfectly curled hair, luscious red lips and never covered in hats.
5. Some Santa Clause Sub-Plot. A lot of these Hallmark movies include a Santa storyline. Maybe it’s set in a small town in Alaska which is really the North Pole. Or maybe he’s Santa Jr. and uses a convertible to deliver gifts. Whatever the setting, Santa is never far behind … even if he’s just an all knowing guy ringing the bell and doling out advice.
6. Christmas Magic. An angel perhaps like in Mr. Miracle or Angels and Ornaments. Or maybe a Magic Stocking. Whatever the drama happening in the characters lives, Christmas magic always prevails.
7. Epic-ly Decorated Homes. Have you ever wondered how much it would really cost to deck the halls likes these folks?
8. Horribly Placed Products. Do we really need to see that ten second close up of a can of Folgers? Or how many shots do we need to see of that Ford Explorer pulling in the driveway? I get it, you need to pay those salaries.
9. A Single Parent. OK not all movies include the single parent story, but so many do it had to be included. A spouse away in the service injured and can’t return. Or a widow who isn’t ready to celebrate Christmas. Or perhaps an uncle who is now the guardian of a child who is an orphan. So many of these movies tug at the heartstrings, but almost always end with a fairy tale family ending.
10. Carolers. Seriously, name one time someone has sung Christmas carols outside your home in the past 20 years?